My dream five-a-side team

Now this won’t be a massive analytical piece of work, just my opinion of what players would work in a team of five players who would meet up at a rec centre and wear a pub’s kit supplied by the landlord.

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Goalkeepers that keep scoring goals (video)

Goalkeepers, for the sake of their manager’s heart-rate, should stay inside their own penalty box at all times, occasionally rushing out to close down an on-rushing striker, but only in an emergency. There are exceptions to this rule, but they must possess the finishing ability of an Alan Shearer, or the set-piece brilliance of a David Beckham. Such creatures do exist, and mainly in the footballing utopia that is South America.

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