A slice of MotD

This is the start of a weekly blog which will carefully dissect all facets of our own footballing national treasure: Match of the Day. We all love it but it's about time we started to have a say on the level of punditry, style and comic ability displayed by the presenters during the show. And that is what this here blog is for. Enjoy.

First up is Manchester United vs Arsenal. It's good ol' Gary Lineker presenting and he points out that Winter has arrived as it is getting dark very early now. He's a smart one our Gary. It's Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer providing the punditry and it's nice to see them all wearing poppies.

Hansen has gone for the pinstripe shirt. A good choice if a little tight fitting. Shearer's shirt has got a massive collar, straight from the 70s. Shearer, Hansen and Lineker all agree that Arsenal were terrible, which they were, and that Santos got killed on the left, which he did. They bring up the whole shirt swapping Santos thing (Arsenal in crisis! Wenger out!) and they all wonder what he was playing at. 

It's Spurs vs Wigan next at Spurs were abject as Wigan beat them at the Lane. Shearer is on the analysis and he is salivating at the very good passing game demonstrated by Wigan during the game. Hansen points out that if you take into account Wigan's form from the end of last season they would be in the top six. That would be brilliant.

There's a worrying lack of jokes so far but I am holding out for some expertly timed Linekar puns to liven things up.

Fulham/Everton now and Lineker tells us that we don't need to do too much homework to find out who was on top in this one. Cheers mate. Shearer is given analysis duties for the second game in a row (lazy Hansen) and the Geordie chooses to highlight Kevin Mirallas and Marouanne Fellani as Everton's stand outs during the 2-2 draw. Hansen insists that Fulham's determination in the face of Fellani hair sized batter got them the point and that the draw, for Fulham, feels more like a victory. Well, that's debatable but we'll move on.

Ah, here it is! Some Linekar gags! An advert for Match of the Day 2 which has what sounds like a Benny Hill tune accompanying but Gary thought it was a It's a Knockout theme song. Gary, you get me every time. Shearer and Hansen incredibly stay straight faced through all of this. They're all business those two.

Moving onto Swansea vs Chelsea and they're all having a good chuckle at Swansea's Ashley Williams cracking a joke about working for Spanish T.V on account of his Spanish speaking skills. I mean, it was funny, but probably not worthy of all this chuckling. Maybe just a smirk. Anyway, Lineker displays his wide vocabulary by describing Swansea's point as 'meritorious'. Wow, nice work Gary and who said you were just a pretty face?

Time for Sunderland vs Aston Villa where Paul Lambert's men picked up a 1-0 victory. It's Hansen dishing out the analysis (finally) and it he states the importance of a win for Villa as the next three games coming up they have to play the Manchester clubs. Hansen, looking so laid back in his chair, decides he has done enough analysis and passes it on to Shearer who dissects Gabriel Abonglahor's first goal in about a century. Shearer then puts his serious face on and says that Sunderland's lack of shooting (13 shots on target all season!) is a real worry.

Norwich and Stoke now and Gary exclaims that since the managers of both teams are debating the big, contentious decisions in the game then it would only be right that he and the others did so to. What a good idea, Gary. Hansen reckons Charlie Adam didn't dive when Stevie Wonder could have seen that he did indeed dive. Poor observation there. More jokes, too, as Hansen reckons someone in the MotD production crew, possibly a Norwich fan (that was the joke), has 'gone crazy' with the video analysis of the Norwich goal. Shearer is as close to hysterics as you'll ever seem him.

The show rounds off with highlights of West Ham vs Man City playing out a 0-0 draw. They all get a laugh out of Mancini saying that he trusts all of his players, including Balotelli. I suppose that is quite funny. Then, Hansen gets on his rather high horse and has a go at the other two for calling Balotelli ‘good’ for the league and his club. Ohh, subtle drama here! They  may all be smiling now but believe you and me, there will be a harsh exchange of words when they go off air.

That’s that for this weekend’s Match of the Day and a good one it was too. The award for best pundit has to go to Lineker, though, who was in top form. He could have won it solely for using the word meritorious to be honest you. Where did that come from? Gary must have a thesaurus by his side and consults it when the highlights are playing.

Till next week. 

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