If footballers were cars: Top 10

Take a look at this light-hearted list of topflight football players and see what their motor equivalent would be.

Lionel Messi- Magic Carpet

This man is untouchable. He does not need the pace or the power that most desire, as he contains the magic that has seen him hailed as the best ever. The 24-year old pulls off tricks that your mind cannot decipher and leaves you in awe, he has been compared to the gods and is as highly rated as they come. His main support comes from Xavi and Iniesta who provide the platform which allows Messi to excel.

Cristiano Ronaldo- The Batmobile

Ronaldo has everything in abundance. Ridiculous amounts of firepower, immune to almost everything threatening and most importantly, attracts the ladies. Arguably the best in the world, the confidence that he exudes is something you can only dream of and he is worth endless amounts of money.

Yaya Toure – A Tank

A colossal, mammoth-sized presence that demands your respect; Toure holds the resilience and stability of a tank, with the substantial shooting power that can damage any opponent brave enough to challenge. Although speed isn’t an attribute near the top of his list of qualities, Toure is essential to have in your side when going into battle.

Wayne Rooney- Lotus Elise

A disgusting article to look at but produces incredible power and energy when used is a short, but fair, conclusion that sums both Wayne Rooney and the Lotus Elise up to a tee. Although some have suggested that these two are one of the best in their trades, being British will always be the downfall to their reputation.

Mario Balotelli- Lamborghini Murceielago  

What else for the most self-assured player ever to wear a pair of shin pads? With An arrogance that explodes on first glimpse, making you feel like you’ve been repeatedly slapped across the face by a billionaire’s wallet. These two are usually met by monumental amounts of negativity due to the jealousy of the viewer from an ego that makes your stomach turn.

John Terry- Hummer H1

A versatility which is immensely useful to the user as it can perform in almost any situation. It’s slow and sluggish movement invites critiques to insult and question the ability, but due to the powerful frame, the last laugh is always the one from this chunky unit.

Theo Walcott- Mclaren F1

Both of these are built for speed and nothing else. Not many compare to the acceleration but when it comes to performing another task it soon comes clear that it is a one-trick pony. Take away the rapidity and you may as well scrap it.

Titus Bramble- Renault Megane

To find a vehicle that equates to Titus Bramble, you need to find a car that nobody wants, something that your friends laugh at you for having and pops it’s head up on the ‘most unreliable’ list year after year. I give you the Renault Megane.

Gareth Barry – Volvo 760

Boring, tiresome but does what is needed. Never exceeds expectation yet never fails to deliver, Gareth Barry’s cautious approach has awarded him with the comparison of the old-style Volvo. Congratulations, Mr Barry.

Joleon Lescott – Fiat Multipla

Undoubtedly one of the ugliest in the world but a real force when it comes to it’s physical stature. When contesting in a collision there is few who get the better of either of these monsters which is why many want one. A safe bet if nothing else.

Follow @PattyGlee