Top 10 Own Goals

We’ve all done it. Stuck a great clumsy boot out and divided the ball into the back of our net. There isn’t a worse feeling in football (unless you’re Vinny Jones and you’ve just grabbed Gazza’s balls) but here are 10 idiots who did rather more than stick out a clumsy boot:

Festus Baise – This one from the Hong Kong First Division has been doing the rounds recently, even making it onto BBC Sport. The scorpion kick hasn’t been seen since Rene Higuita pulled it out of the bag against England for Colombia way back in a friendly in 1995. But take a bow Mr Festus Baise whoever you may be, you’ve just become the most famous player in the Hong Kong Leagues. 

Tony Popovic – Crystal Palace’s season in the Premiership back in 2004/05 was rather disappointing, ending in relegation straight back down to the Championship. Australian defender Popovic however decided to liven it up a bit, displaying a level of skill that wouldn’t have gone amiss at the right end of the field. Zidane eat your heart out.

Peter Enckelman – We’ve all had that argument in the park. You can’t score from a throw-in! Errr, well you can if your idiotic goalkeeper touches the ball on the way through. This was what Aston Villa stopper Peter Enckelman did during a Premiership match back in 2002. It wasn’t just any old match either. It was a clash between city rivals BirminghamandVilla. Needless to say Peter was none-too popular after this blunder. 

 Alan Smith – Smudger was affectionately loved by the Leeds faithful for banging in goals at the right end before his move to Manchester United. So during the relegation campaign of 2003/04, the supporters allowed him a little leeway after this woeful attempted clearance from a corner against Wolves. Not sure the supporters would be as forgiving these days…

Lee Dixon – Arsenal used to be well known for their watertight defence back in the early 90’s, so Lee Dixon decided to give the opposition a head start with a lob Dennis Bergkamp would have been extremely proud of. I have a funny feeling David Seaman has seen the ball fly over his head before though…

 Inigo Martinez – Spain U21’s were beating Greece 6-0 at the time, so young Martinez decided to try out something new and excited. I guess it worked to some degree.

Chris Brass – Lower League footballers don’t get much recognition from the big boys, but Mr Brass had a few in the game talking about him for all the wrong reasons. His disastrous overhead kick clearance went all Pete Tong and left him with a red face. Literally.

Kakha Kaladze – Perhaps not the classiest own goal you’ve ever seen. Or the best quality. But to score 2 in 11 minutes providing the only goals in the game was some feat from Georgian and AC Milan defender Kakha Kaladze. Rumour has it he was actively helping those Italian teammates.

Frank Queudrue – Frank wasn’t exactly known for his technique during his Premiership days, more his solid tackles and aggressive mannerisms. And this can be highlighted in this rather ugly own goal he scored for Bastia. John Smiths wanted him to replace Peter Kay for their next advert, but Frank was too busy counting his yellow cards.

 Unknown – A YouTube special shows how weather conditions can play an unfortunate role in the art of the own goal. This Sunday League match featured an astonishing finish from Mother Nature, who has finally learnt how to Bend it LikeBeckham. 

 Tom Mordey