Boring Barca

I hate Barcelona. You may be thinking these are the words of a jealous man who has seen them rip apart countless amounts of teams not just in La Liga but the Champions League too. However this is not the case. I honestly believe Barcelona are the dullest team in the world. I would be much happier with a season ticket at Bolton’s Reebok Stadium than sit in the Nou Camp 19 times a year. Of course my friends think I’m mental. The amount of times I’ve been called a mug makes me wonder why I don’t make a dishwasher my permanent accommodation. I do realise by publishing this view on a grander scale you will indeed think the same as my peers so let me just explain why I hold this solitary viewpoint.

On February 16th I witnessed a fantastic game between Arsenal and Barcelona. But it was only made such a great spectacle due to the Gunners superb comeback. Had Robin van Persie and Andrey Arshavin not scored it would have been a lacklustre second half with countless amounts of stupid fouls and constant dispossession. Even Barca’s goal failed to impress. They have a knack of cutting through the defence at will fooling the opposition into believing offside should be called before slotting in behind the keeper. Big deal. Most of their goals come from this technique. I don’t want to see that. Yes, it requires a lot of skill to execute perfectly but who cares? I’ve seen it once and it was lovely but I don’t want to see it all the time. Give me spectacular free-kicks, a corner that actually has me believing a goal is forthcoming and some scandal. I mean, The Rolling Stones didn’t just get to the top based on guitar work.

I also have a qualm with the way Barcelona play. Whilst the world marvels at the fabulous 1000 touches they take before carving out an opportunity I sit there bored silly. Pass, pass, pass, pass, pass. On paper it’s like watching cement dry and it’s exactly the same on grass. Admittedly you do get the eventual end product of a killer chip or ANOTHER through ball which is coolly slotted home but there’s just an excessive amount of unnecessary build-up play, like passing along the back four in order to pick out Xavi or Iniesta and if that fails they’ll keep possession and pass to Victor Valdes. That leads to teams getting so annoyed they clash with the player on the ball and then we see further cycles of passing. As if I haven’t seen enough of that.

If Barcelona didn’t have Lionel Messi then a lot more people would start to realise how tedious their football is. Messi makes the average fan forget the utter dross leading up to the amazing finish. Take Spain’s World Cup campaign for example. Despite the squad virtually being Barcelona, this dynamic free-scoring menace, they began by losing to Switzerland before grinding out 1-0 wins in every single round afterwards. Messi himself couldn’t produce his best work in the Argentina team either. It’s a combination that works for Barcelona so well because of the old rule that opposites attract. Messi is exciting and the style of play from Spain is dull. They take their time to lay the chance on a plate for Messi and he produces something out of the top drawer which makes the world freeze.

It also doesn’t help that the Spanish league is a two-horse race and has been for years. The only game worth watching is El Clasico because it’s the only one that actually provides a contest. The rest of the fixtures are more repetitive than Manchester City breaking their record transfer fee. Barcelona will win, they’ll pass their way into the six-yard box and produce a tidy finish to send the crowd berserk. Where’s the variety? At least with Arsenal you get to see a free-kick lashed in by van Persie and mazy runs from Theo Walcott. When Cristiano Ronaldo graced the Premier League he made his name by being selfish. It’s not a bad thing. His free-kick against Portsmouth would never have happened had he been courteous and let Wayne Rooney take it. He also tries different things, something Barcelona fail to deliver.

I’ll admit they are probably the best team in the world as the squad is an unbelievable set of individuals. Going to a game in the Nou Camp is an idea that excites me but I couldn’t attend on a regular basis. The atmosphere would be spectacular to taste and the goals a treat to behold but with everything in life too much of a good thing can be unbeneficial. If I wanted to know what I was going to get I’d go to a concert. As entertainment they’re good to go and see for a game or two, as a live sporting event they’re the worst team on the planet.

Lewis Davies   



Comments

[Barcelunatic]

Hi there, you are mental. Or maybe it's good that we appreciate different things in life. I can watch Barca for days and smile.
I don't see the charm in british football, good players attempting to play faster than they can and missing every third pass. Most games are decided on coincidences or mistakes. But i understand others love that!

[dot]

just fownd yourself a new mag on the shelf.
this style of play with the 182% possesion bores me as well

[eero from finland]

i agree with your post. barca cheap boring scum that win games because of referees lets hope for better referee for next games and they are done for. they have no skill only bribe referees before matches. i spit on barcelona people if i see them. illegal drug abuse (messi) he have superhuman skills because alot of drugs when young age. SPIT!

[Asioidentuntija]

Excellent post, I wholeheartedly agree!

[koloman]

"Give me spectacular free-kicks, a corner that actually has me believing a goal is forthcoming and some scandal."

Alright, I agree with you there. I like free kick goals; in fact I love them and think they are an essential part of the beautiful game.

But corners... seriously?

You actually want to see people randomly pushing each other around in the box followed by a random header in a random direction?

What's wrong with you?

That shit has nothing to do with skill, nothing to do with football worth watching, nothing to do with anything other than legalised violence.

British football will never be interesting as long as you care for corners.

[vorumista]

Yep, Barcelona is boring. That is, if you're dumb enough to not realise what you're seeing. You compared it to music, so let me do exactly the same. For some, it's not about the music, but what's happening around it. You'd rather see a mediocre rock band who make plenty of noise about themselves. Maybe they even have a good guitarrist who can play a nice little solo. Still, in the end you go to the gig to hear some music while getting drunk.

Barcelona, then again, is the complete opposite of that. They're a symphony orchestra, working brilliantly together thanks to years and years of work, led by a master conductor. The soloists, like Messi or Xavi, are the best at what they do. Not because they're a bunch of chavs with silly hair and tattoos covering half their bodies, but because they're technically as close to perfection as humanly possible and have personal styles of play.

If you can't enjoy perfection, it's your loss. That said, I, as a Barcelona fan, can't be bothered to watch all of their matches for a very good reason: the matches are just so damned boring. That's not because of Barcelona, but because of their opponents who can't be bothered to even try to win or tie the matches, but are just concentrated in protecting their own goal even in defeat. That doesn't change the fact that it's Barcelona whose matches are often quite boring. Still, had you watched some games like the ones against Athletic or Valencia very recently you would've seen that Barcelona are neither superhuman or invincible. Just very, very good and with a personal style of play.

What makes them win week after week, home and away, in cup, UCL and in the league, is the lack of ambition of the other teams. Arsenal, basically tied at the top of the Premier League, was the perfect example. They're supposed to be one of the top teams in the world. They, to me, seemed more like Championship side. Hell, a Championship side would've put up a real fight, because they would've had nothing to lose. Arsenal started the game as if they had already lost it - in the end they did so only narrowly. It could've easily been 5-0.